My Expectations & God's Will

I expect great things. I've always expected great things, for myself and for others. I'm certainly a dreamer, usually a glass half-full kind of girl. I'm always imagining and re-imagining future plans. O, the possibilities!

These grand expectations of mine really only have one foil: reality.

To be perfectly honest, the last time my expectations were wholly met and exceeded happened in 2010, during my semester abroad in Scotland. Why? I haven't a clue. I truly didn't know what to expect and, in the Old Country, the LORD taught me to expect Him. I certainly was blessed to make friends and have experiences beyond my wildest dreams, but I did learn that when we expect God to work in our live we can be sure a grand adventure is to follow.

Since returning from Scotland, nothing has gone the way I expected it. I mean nothing. It's not been all bad, but it's certainly not been what I expected.

Actually, since returning from the UK I've been at great odds with My Expectations and God's Will. Through reflecting over the past two years, Ben - my future husband - suggested I study the two and how they relate.

I'm using Psalms 37 as my base text. I'm also going to be reading through two books 1) Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung and 2) Found: God's Will by John MacArthur.

I'll be blogging my reflections here. Join me, won't you?

another (slightly morbid) poem

Upon Watching People Watch a Funeral Procession 

It's an uncomfortable feeling
when death crosses Main Street.
People stop, gawk, and stare
at the soul who's no longer there.

A New Writing Focus

I'm not a very focused person.

Strike that.

I have tons of focuses, but often struggle choosing which direction I should go.

I've always had tons of dreams and aspirations:
I want to be a wife. I want to be a mom. I want to travel places I've never been. I want to travel back to places I have been. I want to write a book, a poem, a something. I want to run a coffee-shop. I want to own a bookstore. I want to teach. I want to invest in people. I want to move. I want to settle.

You get the idea. Lots of focuses, no direction.

In particular tonight I've been thinking about my writing. (Remember NaNoWriMo? Yeah.) I've been inspired to approach writing, and my whole life by extension, with a renewed focus.

Instead of beating my head against the wall trying to hammer out tons of personal writing projects, I'm going to approach my work with a God-ward focus. Spending dedicated time with the LORD should define my day. Nothing else should seem more important (because, in reality, nothing else IS more important) than that. This blog will now be my way to reflect and meditate on what I'm studying in the Word and learning from the LORD.

Romans 12:1 says we are to be a "living sacrifice" to the LORD. My writing is indeed a gift from Him. I desperately want to perfect my craft as an act of worship - not for my own gain, but to lift up Christ. I hope to not only produce the same type of work, but pieces of even greater quality because I'm writing to honor my King.

NaNoWriMo Fail

Obviously I haven't posted anything new in a month. I haven't written anything to post in a month. My NaNoWriMo novel is in a sad, dejected state. I am sitting at just over 5,000 words - of course no where near 50,000.

November BLEW UP with lots of exciting (but not conducive to writing) activity. Namely, I moved! Yes, I'm now living in the apartment Ben and I will call home in 50 days! So I can't be all that upset I didn't finish my novel.

Still, hoping that December will afford some solid writing opportunities :) When do you do your best writing? How do you fit creative space into your week?

NaNoWriMo

So, I'll be doing NaNoWriMo (or National Novel Writing Month) for the first time this November. Wish me luck! The big goal is to crank out 50,000 words the next 30 days. My personal goal is going to be 25,000. Of course I won't forget you faithful readers (however many of you there are), but just a head's up my main efforts will be hitting 1,600 words a day on the next Great American (LOL).

18 Years of Faith

Though the LORD saved me at a very early age, 4-years-old to be exact, I have no doubt that I understood my need for a Savior even then.

As the years have passed, that need has naturally become ever more evident to me as I've walked both close to and far from Christ.

Today, my "spiritual birthday" as it were, I felt a great sense of loss. For 18 years of faith, I hoped I would have had more to show. I wish I were more spirituality mature, more holy, and more obedient. I wish I had a stronger testimony. As I was telling this lament to the Father, He gently reminded me of a sweet truth:

All I have to show is Christ, which is all I need.

Yes and Amen.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:14-19

Small Group Shenanigans

Just before small group last night, I stumbled upon this blog post, originally posted in March, by Kelli where she highlights Kirbyeveryday. Kirby is this hilarious and highly talented gal who began a project to record one day out of her week. Her style is zany, very quick witted, and altogether fantastic!

So, what else could I have done than try to make my own! I give you Small Group Everyday: