Worry and God's Will

When I decided to look at Psalm 37 with an eye for how my expectations should relate to God's will, I didn't expect so much of this chapter to be about worry. As much as it pains me to admit, I am often a Mr. Worry:

Poor Mr Worry.  

Whatever happened, he worried about it.  

If it rained, he worried that his roof was going to leak.  

If it didn't rain, he worried that all the plants in his garden were going to die.

You get the idea. (And if you're not familiar with Britain's Mr. Men series, you should be. They are fantastic.)

Equally shocking to me was the realization that my worrying does demobilize my ability to trust that God will establish my steps (Psalms 37:23). Anxiety, as Kevin  DeYoung says in Just Do Something, is living out the future before it arrives. Anxiety could also be described as the enemy of trust. We must understand that God's will is always taking place - why, then, do we worry about God's will? It has happened, it is happening, and it will happen!

Delighting in Christ allows us to be certain about our future. God wants us to trust His promises for tomorrow, and the next day, and the one after that. Several of these promises for the children of God are found in Psalm 37 alone:

• We will dwell in the Lord's land. (verse 3)
• We will be given the desires of our heart. (verse 4)
• God will act when our way is committed to him. (verse 5)
• We will have righteousness and justice. (verse 6)
• Though we fall, we will not be cast aside. (verse 24)
• God will be ever generous with us. (verse 25-26)

And those are just a few verses! It's important to understand that this secure future was purchased by the atoning blood of Jesus. Christians around the world have just celebrated (or, if you're like me, are still celebrating) the birth of the Christ-child. Christmas, though, isn't ultimately about a cradle - it is about the cross. We must not forget that God came to dwell among us. We must not forget that Jesus was fully God and fully man. Jesus is the answer to Job's cries for an arbitrator to represent both infinite and finite parties in Job 9. And it is Jesus who will empower you to be anxious for nothing, but to cheerfully and expectantly watch God's will at work in your life. 

Unlikely Christmas Thoughts

This morning, I find myself in North Carolina. My hometown. Though I oddly feel like a stranger in my hometown, there is one place where I never feel like a passerby - Broad River Coffee Company. It's where I worked my first job. Was introduced to indie music. Learned how to pull a perfect shot of espresso. Where I, in many ways, was first introduced to adult responsibilities.

And this rainy Christmas Eve morning, I find myself drinking a cup of coffee as a nondescript customer. I'm continuing to study My Expectations and God's Will and another set of verses from Psalm 37 shouted for my attention.

The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
when he delights in his way;
though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
for the LORD upholds his hand.
Psalm 37:23-24 (ESV)

What in the world does established steps and not being cast headlong have to do with Christmas? I'll tell you.

On Sunday, traveling through Tennessee on my way to the Land of the Pine, I stopped to attend Cornerstone Church of Knoxville. What a passionate, Christ-exalting congregation! The sermon was the final of their Advent series and entitled "Christ our Mediator". The pastor brought to light that Jesus is always mediating, or interceding, on our behalf before the Father. The wonder of the Christ-child isn't that he remained a baby, but that he grew up to be a man and atone for the sins of the world - my sins and your sins. Now, Jesus stands in Heaven and says, "Father, I know Victoria has sinned and she doesn't deserve your grace. Here, look at my perfect sacrifice on Calvary. Apply my payment to her sin debt. I love her; she is mine."

Have Yourself a Guilty Little Christmas

Don't count me off as Ebeneezer Scrooge's little sister! Hear me out. Tonight I began my Christmas shopping (T-6 Days, I know) and was struck with an overwhelming sense of guilt. What happened to good tidings of great joy? Read on.

It is more blessed to give than to receive, I don't deny that. What I learned tonight is that giving for the wrong reasons is a horrible excuse to fulfill the old adage.

Have you ever felt guilty for not giving someone a gift? I think at Christmastime, those feelings become even more acute. The dreaded moment when an unsuspecting someone approaches you with a, "Guess who's got a present under the tree!?" (Maybe your buddies aren't that corny - I hope they aren't - but you get the idea.) You are in a tight spot my friend.

If you were me about 6 hours ago, you would have slide into the car like Bo Duke and put the lead out to make it to some Stuff-Mart. I did the ritualistic scouting of the gift aisles and thought the usual last-second shopper thoughts. "O, they might like that (insert item he really wouldn't like)." "If only that had (insert seriously ugly item) in a different color, she would really like it. I guess this one will work." And the last stitch-effort "You know what, I'll just get them a gift card."

Yep. Classic guilt.

Thoughts on the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting

December 14th 2012

9:30am

Newtown, Connecticut

Sandy Hook Elementary School

What to say?

I, like so many of you, have been at a great loss for words reflecting on the Sandy Hook Elem. Shooting. And yet I, like so many, are trying so hard to think of things to say. My thoughts won't be long, but I hope they will be meaningful.

So, what do we say in the face of tragedy? Not even just an accidental tragedy, but a heartbreaking and horrific pre-meditated atrocity.

My Expectations & God's Will

I expect great things. I've always expected great things, for myself and for others. I'm certainly a dreamer, usually a glass half-full kind of girl. I'm always imagining and re-imagining future plans. O, the possibilities!

These grand expectations of mine really only have one foil: reality.

To be perfectly honest, the last time my expectations were wholly met and exceeded happened in 2010, during my semester abroad in Scotland. Why? I haven't a clue. I truly didn't know what to expect and, in the Old Country, the LORD taught me to expect Him. I certainly was blessed to make friends and have experiences beyond my wildest dreams, but I did learn that when we expect God to work in our live we can be sure a grand adventure is to follow.

Since returning from Scotland, nothing has gone the way I expected it. I mean nothing. It's not been all bad, but it's certainly not been what I expected.

Actually, since returning from the UK I've been at great odds with My Expectations and God's Will. Through reflecting over the past two years, Ben - my future husband - suggested I study the two and how they relate.

I'm using Psalms 37 as my base text. I'm also going to be reading through two books 1) Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung and 2) Found: God's Will by John MacArthur.

I'll be blogging my reflections here. Join me, won't you?

A New Writing Focus

I'm not a very focused person.

Strike that.

I have tons of focuses, but often struggle choosing which direction I should go.

I've always had tons of dreams and aspirations:
I want to be a wife. I want to be a mom. I want to travel places I've never been. I want to travel back to places I have been. I want to write a book, a poem, a something. I want to run a coffee-shop. I want to own a bookstore. I want to teach. I want to invest in people. I want to move. I want to settle.

You get the idea. Lots of focuses, no direction.

In particular tonight I've been thinking about my writing. (Remember NaNoWriMo? Yeah.) I've been inspired to approach writing, and my whole life by extension, with a renewed focus.

Instead of beating my head against the wall trying to hammer out tons of personal writing projects, I'm going to approach my work with a God-ward focus. Spending dedicated time with the LORD should define my day. Nothing else should seem more important (because, in reality, nothing else IS more important) than that. This blog will now be my way to reflect and meditate on what I'm studying in the Word and learning from the LORD.

Romans 12:1 says we are to be a "living sacrifice" to the LORD. My writing is indeed a gift from Him. I desperately want to perfect my craft as an act of worship - not for my own gain, but to lift up Christ. I hope to not only produce the same type of work, but pieces of even greater quality because I'm writing to honor my King.

Small Group Shenanigans

Just before small group last night, I stumbled upon this blog post, originally posted in March, by Kelli where she highlights Kirbyeveryday. Kirby is this hilarious and highly talented gal who began a project to record one day out of her week. Her style is zany, very quick witted, and altogether fantastic!

So, what else could I have done than try to make my own! I give you Small Group Everyday:

What's Love?

Yes, I know I speak with little authority on the topic of marriage. I don't know a lot about this love-thing, but I know enough to know this:

I used to think love is saying no to yourself and yes to the other person. Actually, love is that moment when saying yes to the other person is saying yes to yourself. It absolutely is.

When you want to run and they want to walk, you want to walk.
When you want to talk and they don't, you don't. 
When you want to go and they want to stay, you want to stay.
On and on it goes.

Does this picture of love scare you? It should. It's so counter-intuitive to absolutely everything we humans do. This kind of love, this dying-to-self-for-the-sake-of-the-other-party love is not only made possible but also sustained by one person: Jesus.


"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

Image.

This week I have been bombarded with thoughts about image.

Body image.

My body image.

It all started on Thursday when I got my hair cut and the stylist worked a number on my head. These crazy, out of control locks of mine were forced into submission by a flat iron and professional grade hair product. I looked smashing, or so people told me.

That's where I had problems. God revealed a great idol in my heart through simple comments about my hair.

Historically, I have always made fun of people who flat-iron their hair. (My apologies!) Not just flat-iron, I have historically always made fun of people who spent an inordinate amount of time on their hair, make-up, and appearance in general. If putting your face on took longer than fifteen minutes, you can be sure I was secretly judging. "Holy cow, look at that girl. I can't imagine wasting that much time on my appearance. I care so much more about what's inside of my head instead of on it. Go ahead, flat-iron yourself into conformed, cookie-cutter perfection." Ok, so I didn't really say that every time I saw someone getting gorgeous, but that certainly was a sample of my attitude towards women who spent any amount of time on their looks.

That's why when people started liking and commenting about how awesome this new hairdo was, I became immediately defensive. "What? Do you want me to be like all those other girls!?"

Hold it, sister. Wasn't being proud over having no concern over my physical image just as sinful and self-absorbed as I accused my dear sisters of being? Yes. And, truth be told, in those quiet moments I, too, would spend longer than fifteen minutes trying to look presentable. Those days seem to come often where my five-minute makeover session turned into a half-an-hour ordeal resulting in piles of clothes on the floor, a hairbrush flung across the bathroom, and general self-loathing. Then, of course, I would try to make myself feel better by saying I didn't really care.